When I was a kid, there were two types of snow: white snow and yellow snow. Now that I’m a homeowner, I realize that there are indeed two types of snow, but they’ve taken different forms (kind of like the Wonder Twins). There is soft, pretty, fluffy, blowy snow…the kind that you can push from one side of the driveway to the other without having to heave any when you get there. This is the nice kind of snow. It’s soft and playful and you can laugh about it. Then there is the sticky, wet, agonizingly heavy snow. It’s back-breaking heavy. This is the bad kind of snow. This is the snow that forces you to pick it up half-way across the driveway and hurl it the rest of the way because it refuses to be pushed around anymore. This is the kind of snow that turns into ice if you decide you’re going to spend your personal day inside drinking coffee and watching Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade instead of keeping up with the shoveling. This is Danbury, Connecticut snow, where we’re not quite close enough to the shore for it to be rain but not quite far enough inland for it to be happy snow. This is the snow that’s in my driveway, mocking my two green plastic shovels (I think I was naive thinking my wife might help with the real problem snow, but this is a man’s job, to be sure), half a bucket of salt, and 140 lbs of tube-sand. I hate this snow.